my gun doesnt make me a big man but it lets me function like one

just got back from the shooting range with my younger brother. its strange because he likes guns, drives a truck and cowboy's butts drive him nuts. not the typical gay guy. only bad thing is i got hit with hot brass being ejected out of my gun. that really fucking hurts. i would hate to get shot with a bullet. about to go drink a beer, watch tv and smoke a bowl in true american spirit.

jackass 3d

the new jackass movie is fucking hilarious. yall should go see it if you have the chance. i would recomend seeing it in 3d and not 2d like i did with my friends. it sucks being the 5th wheel. at least im gonna hang out this week with the girl ive never really been able to shake from my mind. been talking to her a lot recently. feels good to be talking to another pretty girl.

according to work my plans are less important than my coworkers.

now instead of having opening shifts i have closing shifts. i already made plans for saturday night. its not my fault that you didnt put the right dates on your request off and i dont care that the person they wanted to cover for you has to babysit. you can hang out with your girlfriend some other night and they can find some other baby sitter. i was supposed to go on a date but im gonna have to try for next week. this is on top of loosing my headphones at school today and i lost an almost full pack of cigarettes while at work. can i for once just catch a break.

something else i will never understand

i hate how i constantly wake up about 10 minutes before my alarm clock goes off. and then some days i sleep right through my alarm clock. i cant remember the last time it actually woke me up. anybody else have that problem or am i just weird. also, weird is a weird word because it doesnt follow the i before e except after c rule.

im drunk right now and i have no reason to be.

so yeah, i havent really ate all day and after work i had two beers then came home and had 5 shots of smirnoff triple distilled so im pretty drunk right now. i havent had anything to drink in 3 weeks and ive never really been much of a drinker and i cant think of a good reason other than because i can. maybe its because im out of weed. i prefer being high than being drunk.i always get depressed when i drink. when i get high, i get creative. i like to create things.

who ever invented the wake and bake was a genius

my days always go so much better when i wake up and get high. but now im out of weed. also, getting really high and then going to the state fair was probably one of my best ideas ever. having munchies like a mother fucker and being surrounded by some of the worst foods in terms of healthiness is the best thing in the world.

my mom never understood why i always laughed when she called me a son of a bitch.

i love my parents, i really do. but sometimes, they just annoy the shit out of me. my mom is on my ass because im smoking again. im a grown ass man, ill do what i want. my dad, hes still one of the 3 men i look up to, the other 2 are my grandpa and thomas jefferson. but my dad is a really great guy when hes not yelling at me about school and smoking and has given me some really good advice lately. he told me the other day that he didnt fall in love until he met my mom when he was 26. my grandpa told me almost the exact same thing about his last wife when he met her in his 50s. i guess there is hope for me after all. and thomas jefferson is just a kick ass dude who did a lot of great things in his life.