Friday, November 19, 2010

i am procrastinating procrastination

dont be alarmed if the universe begins to fold in on it self, but its because i have a govt paper due tomorrow and i  really dont want to do it. ive always hated home work. most of its busy work and doesnt teach you anything. honestly, in 10 years will it matter that i spent my time writing about a subject that im only taking because its a required basic that doesnt have anything to do with what i want to major in? probably not, but im still gonna try to do the paper because its something i have to do even though i dont want to. i think i might be growing up and i dont like it.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

work and school consume my life.

i havent had a 40 hour work week since this summer. but i need the money so i cant really complain. would be nice to go out and do something fun. im starting to think its time for a vacation to somewhere warm and tropical.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

anything worth trying is worth failing at.

im gonna give quitting cigarettes another go. about to go smoke my last one. really happy i got to see my grandpa today. i want to be like him, i just dont want to end up like him. talking to him really helps since we are both alike in so many ways. he never had much luck with the ladies either when it came to love. hes told me about all the women hes been through but he managed to find the perfect one late in his life. to bad i never got to meet her when i was little. she sounds like she was a really nice woman and im glad she gave my grandpa some happiness in his life. but as long as i have his good looks because i look exactly like him at my age right now, i shouldnt have a problem finding girls, finding the right one is the real challenge. and i hope i someday do so i can carry on the tradition of naming one of my children after their great grandpa.
his army picture from when he was a medic during the Korean War. 

Saturday, November 6, 2010

there is no such thing as strangers, just friends you didnt know you had.

i just finished talking to people i dont know on the internet. when i was little i was always told not to talk to strangers, easy for me because ive always been so shy and had a hard time talking to anybody. but over the past year and a half ive been changing that, ive been forcing myself to go out to social events, to meet new people. ive been trying to expand my group of friends beyond my small circle. im good friends now with more people i went to high school with than i was when i was in high school. i even talk to the girl i had a crush on those 4 years. i found out that she had a crush on me then to. if i had only had the balls then to talk to her, highschool probably wouldnt have sucked so badly. and things might be getting better because she just broke up with her boyfriend. im just being cautious right now on making a move and asking her on a date because i dont want to be just a rebound for her to get back at him with. and i finally realized its time to move on from the last girl i was talking to. i talk to some of her friends and i know they dont really care for the guy she is with and they all tell me what a better guy i am than he is. if she cant see that, then she wasnt worth my time i wasted on her.

Friday, November 5, 2010

it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.

what a load of bullshit. i wish i had never met her. shes the one i think about when i listen to all the sad songs ive been playing lately.

Monday, November 1, 2010

never shop while youre hungry.

just got back from wal-mart with my brother. spent $131 combined on food. should only last us a week. im just glad i dont live with my parents anymore, but still live close enough i can stop in and grab something to eat or else i couldnt afford to eat. its hard to live on $750 a month. $300 is car payment, $200 goes towards my rent. that leaves me with $250 for gas and food and other expenses and about $100 of that is just for gas. i can see why so many more people are living at home for longer than moving out on their own. i know so many people who are in their early to mid 20s still living at home while my parents were on their own when they were still in their teens. i didnt even move out until 2 months before i turned 21, and my mom has already invited me to move back in with them.

every now and then i watch this video

pale blue dot

this is one of the video's anybody can watch and understand the message. doesnt matter what belief you have, just watch this video.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

my dog understands me better than anyone else

i think the worst part about living with my older brother is not having my dog living with me. my dad came by earlier today and brought her along since she loves coming over here and jumping into my bed and getting under the covers. now my bed smells like dog. it was time to wash the sheets anyways.

Happy Halloween

sitting here eating all of the twix out of  the bag of candy i bought for the trick or treaters. i swear im not fat. only problem is i forgot i already put razor blades in most of the candy and keep cutting up my mouth. im concerned by the lack of anyone having costume parties today. i want to dress up as something slutty.

Saturday, October 30, 2010


nothing ever goes right for me. not going to florida because they chnaged the launch date and i cant miss that many days of school. this just isnt my year. nothing has gone right for me. at least there is only 2 more months of this year left until next year. im gonna make next year my bitch. i know i said that last year about this year but this time im going to make it happen.

Friday, October 29, 2010

leaving for florida today

havent packed or planned anything. ive always lived my life by the seat of my pants. do everything last minute. i did do most of my laundry yesterday so i would have clean cloths to take. thats about as much ive gotten done for this trip. gonna be one hell of a drive. ill post some pictures of the launch when i get back.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

laundry day is my favorite day of the week

nothing like putting on a nice warm jacket on a cool fall day in texas. its been fall for over a month and its just now not feeling like summer. and all the leaves are starting to change color and fall off the trees leaving them bare  in a month from now. i love going for walks through the forest preserve near my house on days like today. to bad there is no one to walk with.

i can still see why kids love the taste of cinamon toast crunch.

when i was planning on joining the airforce i had to take a test like the one above to see if i had any sort of colorblindness. luckily  i dont, i can see all of the numbers in all of the circles just fine. my only vision problem is i cant see distances without my contacts. in fact im legally blind without them since its greater than 20/400. im kind of like hellen keller except i can drive because im not a woman.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

i was born to soon to explore the galaxy.

so in 4 days i plan on driving to florida to watch the space shuttle launch. its the second to last time in history it will be sending people into orbit. ive always been amazed by outer space. i spend so many nights laying out on my roof outside my window staring at the stars and the moon. my fascination with space is because of my grandpa. he used to work for nasa back in the 60s during the apollo program. he helped design some of the communications equipment on the landing craft. i dont know why we arent living on the moon right now. you think that we would have been back at some point in the last 40 years.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

you dont always have to be a hero

i usually love nightmares for some reason. i always wake up from them with an adrenaline rush and it feels pretty good getting one since i dont skateboard anymore. but there is one nightmare ive had a few times i just absolutely hate, its ones in which my older brother is killed in a line of duty. my brother is a cop, just like my dad. ive had nightmares about my dad being killed also and i hate having those too. i just worry about them. i dont know where my life would be without them. especially my older brother, he may be an ass most of the time but he has shown me huge kindness by letting me live with him. i just hope he never catches me smoking weed.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

what the fuck am i watching

there is apparently a MAD tv show on cartoon network and its full of sexual innuendos and shit. its highly crude and poorly drawn. i think im in love. or maybe im just high. yeah, im pretty high right now watching this shit.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

my gun doesnt make me a big man but it lets me function like one

just got back from the shooting range with my younger brother. its strange because he likes guns, drives a truck and cowboy's butts drive him nuts. not the typical gay guy. only bad thing is i got hit with hot brass being ejected out of my gun. that really fucking hurts. i would hate to get shot with a bullet. about to go drink a beer, watch tv and smoke a bowl in true american spirit.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

jackass 3d

the new jackass movie is fucking hilarious. yall should go see it if you have the chance. i would recomend seeing it in 3d and not 2d like i did with my friends. it sucks being the 5th wheel. at least im gonna hang out this week with the girl ive never really been able to shake from my mind. been talking to her a lot recently. feels good to be talking to another pretty girl.

Friday, October 15, 2010

according to work my plans are less important than my coworkers.

now instead of having opening shifts i have closing shifts. i already made plans for saturday night. its not my fault that you didnt put the right dates on your request off and i dont care that the person they wanted to cover for you has to babysit. you can hang out with your girlfriend some other night and they can find some other baby sitter. i was supposed to go on a date but im gonna have to try for next week. this is on top of loosing my headphones at school today and i lost an almost full pack of cigarettes while at work. can i for once just catch a break.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

something else i will never understand

i hate how i constantly wake up about 10 minutes before my alarm clock goes off. and then some days i sleep right through my alarm clock. i cant remember the last time it actually woke me up. anybody else have that problem or am i just weird. also, weird is a weird word because it doesnt follow the i before e except after c rule.

im drunk right now and i have no reason to be.

so yeah, i havent really ate all day and after work i had two beers then came home and had 5 shots of smirnoff triple distilled so im pretty drunk right now. i havent had anything to drink in 3 weeks and ive never really been much of a drinker and i cant think of a good reason other than because i can. maybe its because im out of weed. i prefer being high than being drunk.i always get depressed when i drink. when i get high, i get creative. i like to create things.

Monday, October 11, 2010

who ever invented the wake and bake was a genius

my days always go so much better when i wake up and get high. but now im out of weed. also, getting really high and then going to the state fair was probably one of my best ideas ever. having munchies like a mother fucker and being surrounded by some of the worst foods in terms of healthiness is the best thing in the world.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

my mom never understood why i always laughed when she called me a son of a bitch.

i love my parents, i really do. but sometimes, they just annoy the shit out of me. my mom is on my ass because im smoking again. im a grown ass man, ill do what i want. my dad, hes still one of the 3 men i look up to, the other 2 are my grandpa and thomas jefferson. but my dad is a really great guy when hes not yelling at me about school and smoking and has given me some really good advice lately. he told me the other day that he didnt fall in love until he met my mom when he was 26. my grandpa told me almost the exact same thing about his last wife when he met her in his 50s. i guess there is hope for me after all. and thomas jefferson is just a kick ass dude who did a lot of great things in his life.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

without money we would all be rich and right now im the richest man in the world

i have $0.00 in my bank account right now. i think ill become a painter so i can call myself a starving artist instead of just being poor. it sounds more romantic that way.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

today i will be happier than a bird with a french fry.

got the new chiodos and bring me the horizon albums today. fucking sick is all i have to say about both. well, gonna go rock out with my cock out.

Monday, October 4, 2010

i will get over her tomorrow by getting under someone else.

math and science i understand, women i will never get.

i wasnt scheduled to work tonight but i went in since my coworker was sick. pretty easy day, not to eventful except for one little thing. went out for a smoke break and saw the girl i was talking to for the past 2 and a half months until she decided we should just be friends then 3 days later i see her in a relationship with some kid with no job, no car, and an 11pm curfew. she was taking out the trash and i just wanted to text her and say hi, i noticed you taking out the trash, i took the trash out about a month ago but i didnt. i think her seeing me smoking again was enough to piss her off because she just stared me down for a moment. but such is life i guess, i just want her to be happy.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

when i die, bury me in something for the weather in hell

ended up going to the lake today instead of camping. pretty good day i'd say. not just because i got away from the city but because i found out someone else is already regretting their choices. now its time to shit, shower and shave. hopefully tomorrow will be a good day too.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

out of cigarettes, out of hope.

so right now i should be out camping, sleeping under the stars but im not because my best friend's girlfriend is kind of a bitch and decided she didnt want to go therefore no one else can go. thats the only benefit to being single is not having to deal with that kind of shit. i miss seeing those stars.

Friday, October 1, 2010

i feel obligated to post a picture

this shit always cracks me up. speaking of nasa, im planning on heading to florida at the end of october to see the second to last space shuttle launch. also, speaking of sharks i hope to do some surfing at coco beach if i get the chance but i dont know how the surfing is there during the middle of fall.

song of the right fucking now, right fucking here.

this song always gets me in the mood for kicking ass and taking names.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

drugs, do them at least once.

(click on image to expand)

i guess thats why they call it getting high

weed has never let me down. it always get me up. now if only i could go back to felling this way all the time but she doesnt want to talk to me and i have nothing to say to her.

blend 27

another night spent not sleeping, another night spent blowing smoke out of my window. i only started again 2 weeks ago after going 2 months of not smoking. i wish i still had the reason to not smoke. at least smoking makes you look cool.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

also ctrl +alt+delete

am i the only one

that looks up at airplanes and wonders where those people are going. what far off destination they are heading to? i saw an app for the iphone that would tell you but i dont own an iphone. so ill just sit in my window blowing smoke outside wishing to go to some far off place where people dont judge you for not owning an iphone.

Monday, September 27, 2010

pills here.

just a few of my writings.

i know the right words to say, i just dont know the right person to tell them to.
if you have nothing to fear then you have nothing to love.
diamonds are a girl's best friend, dogs are man's best friend.proof that guys know unconditional love is more important than things.
im a knight in shining armor looking for a princess to save, to bad youre an angel.
i used to ask myself whats wrong with me, why am i so different? then i realized i should have been asking what is wrong with everyone else, why are they so different?

ive made some mistakes in my life.

nice weather tonight

i hate how most conversations are just about mundane meaning less shit. every now and then you have a conversation that just changes everything. those are the conversations worth having.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

if you dont sin, then jesus died for nothing. now get out there and start having sex with other men.

life sucks

and then you die. i dont know why anyone would want to be immortal, i couldnt imagine a fate worse than that.

Friday, September 24, 2010


there is never anything interesting on the televison any more. on an unrelated note i also now have a twitter.